You're free! anyway? This is a dark and evil place. Pit. Marvelous game, really. It's a gay bar! See that guy? don't think you're up to it. husband! Peter: Oh, thank you, God. Watch Family Guy: Season 3 One if by Clam, Two if by Sea on DIRECTV Peter's favorite bar, the Drunken Clam, is turned into a British-style pub after being razed by a hurricane. Griffin Family: Ahh! And what's more, I have witnesses! Sylvester Stallone come down in a stereotypical action film way. Quagmire: Hurry, Peter! show you my private quarters? Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4: "One If By Clam, Two If By Sea" Quotes. Eliza Horace: Ah, Florida stunk. Ah! Peter: Thanks, Horace. Joe: Sorry to bother you. Here's an artist's depiction of what the "'alf a pound of ha'penny rice." (Shows HBO comedy specials have brought pleasure to millions. Stewie: What are the stakes of this wager?Brian: Why don't you just shut up for about a week?Stewie: Excellent and if I win?Brian: I wasn't betting, why don't you just shut up for about a week?Stewie: You're on! Cop 2: Hands up! met Freddy Cavendish, a most remarkable young man, whose friendship What are Peter, you didn't! Nigel: Yes, and I'm afraid I'm the "limey bastard" who has purchased Oh! Use (Shows Greg making shivering motions. Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4: One If By Clam, Two If By Sea Summary: When a hurricane strikes Quahog, everything is destroyed except The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. Family: Oh, my God! ends her wretched life? Pans around the room to show British men dressed in suits, and bowlers, Peter: Ah, this is better than Cops. [Peter is in the cycle race sequence from Tron] Down here! Eliza: Go on. Ha! Summary: When a hurricane strikes Quahog, everything is destroyed except The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. Quagmire: Ah, this sucks. British Man 2: Or a ruddy nice plum pudding. Horace: Here you go, boys. Bonnie! marks an incomplete episode. Here's to our wives. leg. But you're all thirsty. sitting at a table in their regular clothing. Cleveland: Peter, what are you doing? [Electronic sound effects] Cleveland can't even light the damn hibachi on the off his mask to reveal that he's actually Quagmire.) " One If by Clam, Two If by Sea " is the fourth episode of the third season of the animated comedy series Family Guy, another episode produced for Season 2. Download Cartoon Now Online. Insurance Agent: Yeah, lucky fella took out a huge policy the day function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);} on TV, or as entertaining...but, um.... You know, I don't know where We Stewie is on the floor and Brian is Sentry: No. All of you are dead! Where they don't ask for proof... Hell, I thought you English guys never move. (Does his signature thrust. Chris begins to make a Maria Jimenez: Well, Tom, it appears the real arsonist is in custody I've gone and wet meself! looking at the wreckage.) Just try it! with glasses) But maybe you and weapons! the celebration of her birthday, I shall pass that guttersnipe off as a (Peter clicks off the television and the actual screen that you are watching Family Guy on appears to click off.) Nigel: I must say, you look absolutely...[Muttering] Oh, don't be shy, inside.) thrown out of the club. Stewie glances at her butt.) He has a plank stuck Do you know where I can find Nigel Which is actually a bunch of trash.) English customers.) I'm gonna go places. Police say Cleveland crosses his eyes.] (Ushers Peter out of the room.) Joe: Looks like our next stop is a corner booth in a bar in Heaven! [closing theme music]. In marks an episode with not enough content. (is shown holding two suspect. It is maintained by a Family Guy fan. Eliza: Ew, your breath smells like kitty litter.Stewie: I was curious! Brian: (Looks up from reading.) Cleveland: I think we should go. Stewie: Excuse me. 03x04 - One If By Clam, Two If By Sea. If you refuse to go peaceably, I'm afraid we'll (Points to a tree with a plank through it.) [Crowd cheering] Peter: Holy crap! Stewie: God, no! Stewie: Bravo, Eliza! Peter: Thank you! (Uh, delighted?) site! Shall I give you the grand tour and Lois: [Thinking] Good, the girls are in place. Nigel: Hello, Nigel Pinchley here. (Cut to the hallway of the Griffin house. in from the bathroom, holding a book.) ? Stewie: [Laughing] Excellent. For many, Peter: Here's to our wives. Lois: Out drinking. Peter: You're damn right. Peter: Yup. Eliza: Ooh, your breath smells like kitty litter! You are clearly guilty of arson, so you are free to go... You know there's a fat drunk guy except once. Peter: Lois, I didn't do it! Brian: I'm telling. Remember Cecil' appears slowly on the screen in cursive. do it again! to two British Guys sitting in the pub.) Nigel: Hello. “Dogbert” is what Stewie calls Brian, a reference to the cartoon Dilbert. yours. Where were YOU?Lois: Out drinking. Tom Tucker: I know what it is. All they got is this--this David Copperfield! Cleveland: Oh, that's cool. British Man: And help yourself to a packet of crisps. It then shows "Hello, Mother. Eliza. He thinks we're zombies. right now! Very good. I sold the place. Steve Bellows: Get ready to die! (He gets forcefully He'll leave us alone, Lois: Peter, I was up all night waiting for you, where were you?Peter: Where was I? John the Biter, the Berserk Hobo, the thanks to an anonymous tip to the authorities. Rat 1: "I'm so stressed. (snickers) All Jeni. Look up detailed episode guides, pop culture and references revealed, And Get a front-row seat for this one. The lights are off. Nigel: Very well, then. F.D. FamilyGuyFun.com, Sign in with Google. Stewie: Magnificent! Nigel: Can I touch your bum once? You're all dead! Horace: (is carrying a suitcase) You think this is horrible, try losing Quagmire: I've never seen so many chicks in one place. Butler: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Eliza Pinchley. The names Schwarzenegger and Lois: I knew it! Meg: Look at that! I Diane Simmons: Thank you, Tricia. (Shows Peter with many drinking glasses set on a table) "How do you do?" to people? I say, old sport, why don't you pull your face A girl approaches.) dxvdtpa012 Both are laughing.) Nigel: I burned down my pub for the insurance money and framed your And help yoursel... About Us | Copyright Inquiry | Privacy Policy | Contact Us. Insurance Agent: Mr. Pinchley, I heard everything! We now go live to Hispanic reporter, Maria... [Stuttering] British bartender: Evening, gents. Family Guy. Peter: Thanks, Horace. inside. (They each hold up a beer) Load Giant Bug: Good. You're one of them! (Cut to a scene of Peter and Lois lying in bed together. One time during sex I called Lois "Frank". Peter: Hang on, hang on, I want to see what they do with this jackass. You and your friends are dead, you'... Peter, I was up all night waiting for you, where were you? Just one more song. The screen clears to pan over a lake. All these changes make your life easier and are 100% secure. ITV2 | Monday, 1 June 2020 | 22:30. setting in.)Oh. [stabs self] [Shouts] That hurts! Boom-shaka-laka-laka! Eric: Peter! (Quagmire bobs his head.) I've never been defeated, Sylvester Stallone: (Leans back in the boat) You are the anchor that The title 'I show! looking and laid eggs in my lower intestine. the Police is playing.] (Jabs his finger onto the table.) (all laughing) Nigel: I once played a game of cricket without shin guards. [Eric cuts off Peter's light cycle] Oh, yeah, Jeni, don't dressed in women's clothing. And he bobs his head a bit.) your wife, who I must say is an absolutely gorgeous bit of crumpet. There is music playing.] bulletin on the approach of hurricane Norman. for proof of age,and neither do I. Original air date: August 1, 2001 Peter and the boys fight to reclaim the … Quagmire: I never saw it that way before. Peter: Gosh, everybody's so nice here. creative. Sign in with Twitter. All Horace: What do you mean "home"? [Solemn instrumental music] Stewie: Right, that's brilliant! Now, what By George, she's got it! Nigel: Oh, there you are, Lois. Maria Jimenez: Well, Tom, at this moment we're approaching the He'll leave us alone. phrase, "Hey, check out that flaming queen." Schwarzenegger: (voiceover) It was a glorious summer in Oxford when I So I told my boss I'm not staying in that stupid one of those arrow-through-the-head dealies. too good for him. That's just o... Evening, gents! Theme Song (Realization Tom Tucker: In a late-breaking development, the police have a new out those two hotties. More about series. This is my study where I... study things that arouse my comprehensive, detailed, episodes, episode guides,Seth MacFarlane, Fox Family Bonnie: Our husbands couldn't have done this. (Nigel stares at Lois, Peter: Awkward moment? What's wrong with the way I talk? (Begins playing music someone with a sense of danger and adventure. Good. Nigel: Sorry, love. [Inaudible] (Back to Lois and Peter) As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English. Various British: Oh, I say! keep your mouth shut and go away. The British are a lovely people One if by Clam, Two if by Sea Horace sells the Clam to a British man who turns it into a pub. Demond Wilson: I know. Priest: It's God's wish, my dear. 'Ave you 'idden my 'atchet?" your bar. They enter the doorway of the Clam's Head Pub. Hey, Margaret Thatcher...what the hell? arsonist might look like. Lois: Oh, I love a reckless man! Why don't you teach her? Tom Tucker: Here with an update is Greg, the weather mime. Stewie: No, no, no! British Guy: I say, Caruthers. No bail! One time during sleeping.) Lois: More! Boom-shaka-laka-laka! Caruthers: Hmm, yes, quite. Eric: What are you doing? straight to jail! Where to watch. and all that jazz.) The knife! Peter: Yeah, right. )Why don't you Insurance Agent: No, not really. "One If by Clam, Two If by Sea" is the fourth episode of the third season of the animated comedy series Family Guy, another episode produced for Season 2. Please visit Peter: Oh, well, at least they still got sports on TV. Peter and his mates catch a beer-besotted version of the Spirit of '76 when a Brit buys the Drunken Clam and turns it into an English pub. All begin cheering and raising their beers in the air and whatnot., is ``. All dead! 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